The Battle of Present and Future

During Urban Immersion Retreats at the Darst Center, we (the retreat facilitators) have a schpill to tell the anxious high school and college students: “Don’t worry about what is next, be here; it’s not your job to know what’s next.” We try to keep groups in the dark as much as possible in regards to the retreat schedule, so they don’t get ahead of themselves and miss out in conversations that are being had in the present. This motto is something that has really been hitting home for me in the last few weeks.

3 months into the my YAV year, and I can’t help but think about what is coming next. Between graduate school applications, trying to network in case I decide to look for a full time position in Chicago, and general life, it has become very easy to lose myself in the preparation for the future.

“Don’t worry about what is next, be here; it’s not your job to know what’s next.”

In case you didn’t know this about me: I don’t like not knowing. I have serious FOMO (fear of missing out), and I have convinced that if I’m not four steps ahead, then I am behind. I don’t when this need to always know started, but I have become quite aware since coming to Chicago.

“Don’t worry about what is next, be here; it’s not your job to know what’s next.”

 

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Those words have starting to become a sense of grounding, especially when the idea of making future plans is so overwhelming that I want to go to the top of the Sears Tower and just scream.

“Don’t worry about what is next, be here; it’s not your job to know what’s next.”

Being here is a once in a LIFETIME chance. Living with a group of people that are like-minded in passions is refreshing. I don’t want to waste a minute of our time together.

“Don’t worry about what is next, be here; it’s not your job to know what’s next.”

As far as preparing for the future: I’ve done all I can. At the end of the week, I will have submitted all my grad school applications. I put forth my best work, and the decision will no longer be in my hands. I have to take solace in knowing that I’ve done my best in preparing for my next step. And until it is time to take my next step…I am here, in Chicago, living the best YAV life I can.

“Don’t worry about what is next, be here;”

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